Monday, 3 September 2012
Happy birthday, Robbie
Today, one of my best friends and favourite drinking buddies, Robbie Dagher, turns twenty and in honour of that, here are twenty of his best moments. They are heavily, heavily censored.
Robbie actually played Cameron in the first ever theatre adaptation of Popular (there he is below on stage with Lucy Williams, Claire Handley, Catherine McAteer and Emma Taylor as Catherine, Kerry, Meredith and Imogen.)
The moment a text, WhatsApp, Facebook message or Twitter starts with that word, shit is about to go down.
3. WhatsApp: "Robbie Dagher was last seen at 10:24 p.m."
"Robbie Dagher is probably ..."
4. Your sense of direction is so unbelievably bad that you once got lost on the way to my house, after being there about 1800 times. The only thing you know your way to anywhere in Belfast is from the Subway's at Commons Brae to the Belvoir Studio. And yet, somehow, drunk off your ass, you still managed to stumble one night from the Odyssey to find the McDonald's at Connswater. Your stomach is yo' satnav.
5. The time we'd scheduled a 7-hour, 2-man rehearsal for Popular but were both so hungover we lay down in the green room for a six and a half hour nap.
6. "Gareth, fuck, I think I've pulled literally everyone in this room."
7. "It could be worse."
8. The time Claire tried to persuade us that she could handle lad banter. "See, I think you see me in all my pink beret splendour and think, Oh, she's just a delightful girly-girl. She's such a girl that she could never handle one of our lad chats. But you're wrong, guys, I seriously could. Like seriously, just talk normally, like you would if I wasn't here and I promise I'll be able to handle it."
10 seconds later. "No, I'm sorry, this is vile. I definitely can't handle this. I'm going to get a drink. Don't ever do this to me again."
9. "You two would make an adorable gay couple."
"I know, but we'd just be at the ride all the time."
10. Complimenting you on your beaut new Ted Baker belt before realising you'd stolen it from my room four months earlier.
11. "Gareth, I am never going to wear Jack Wills." "Gareth, as if I'd be caught dead in a pair of chinos."
12. The night we had no plans and suggested going for a quiet pint. Then woke-up £150 poorer each the next morning, after going through every cocktail bar, pub and club in Belfast.
13. You, me, Claire and Lauren up in PBT playing the hard hitting drinking game of "What are each other's best features?" And indulging in a 7-hour mutual compliment binge. "You kind of get worshipped, you know. You can make people worship you." "You're almost too much banter, you know?" "I think people are intimidated by how good-looking you are, to be honest." "You're almost so amazing that people are afraid to love you." "You have amazing hair." "Your arms are like a total feast, babes." "You tell a story better than anyone I've ever met, ever." "But you actually are too sexy for your shirt, though."
14. "I mean, I think everyone lives in fear of being out with Robbie in case anyone upset you, Gareth. Because he'd end up in jail for GBH... Or murder." Cheers, lad.
15. "I'm a huge Anisa fan. I think she may be my new favourite Dagher."
16. "Never have I ever."
17. "Dude, d'you fancy a cry?"
18. "Remember you said you'd get me to wear Jack Wills again and like it? Well, you definitely did."
19. First time we ever properly met was in a pub. After four hours of drinking, you mentioned your girlfriend had been waiting somewhere around the general city centre for you.
Me: "What? You should invite her here!"
You: "Eh... yeah. Actually. I don't even really know what she's been doing all this time, to be honest." #caring
20. "I don't know how you ended up getting so drunk last night, Robbie."
"You dared me to down a ten glass!"
"I regret nothing."